1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes
3. If you think I'm speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.
4. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.
5. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me—once
6. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I'm not a whack job.
7. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier
8. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously
9. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down
10. I don't ask for directions because I'm just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes
3. If you think I'm speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.
4. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.
5. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me—once
6. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I'm not a whack job.
7. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier
8. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously
9. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down
10. I don't ask for directions because I'm just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
11. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.
12. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn’t always have to lead to sex.
13. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?
14. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.
15. Though the exhaust note of a Nissan GTR is pretty damn fine, too.
16. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don't be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.
17. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
18. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you're late.
19. Err about being daring, I love to show you off.
20. Unless I show you to my parents
21. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."
22. We love ponytails.
23. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.
24. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal with it.
25. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.
26. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
27. If you’re cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.
28. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny. Seriously.
29. Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall. It does something to our manhood.
30. Shopping is not fascinating. Ever.
31. If you really want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.
32. The man is always in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.
33. “Fine.” is not an acceptable way to end an argument.
34. Money does not equate love.
35. If you truly want honesty, don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to.
36. Dogs good. Cats bad. Grrrrrrr….
37. He does not want to be just friends.
38. He was not looking at that other girl.
39. Well, okay… maybe a little.
40. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy…
41. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will never fake an orgasm. Ever.
42. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.
43. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it. Did I mention Love it?
44. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
45. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.
46. He heard you the first time. Honest.
47. You know, you can ask him out too
48. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.
49. Yes, Maegan Fox and Angelina Jolie is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt and Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you’re with.
50. He won’t tell you he loves you but deep inside he’s heart is pounding with love
12. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn’t always have to lead to sex.
13. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?
14. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.
15. Though the exhaust note of a Nissan GTR is pretty damn fine, too.
16. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don't be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.
17. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
18. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you're late.
19. Err about being daring, I love to show you off.
20. Unless I show you to my parents
21. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."
22. We love ponytails.
23. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.
24. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal with it.
25. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.
26. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
27. If you’re cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.
28. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny. Seriously.
29. Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall. It does something to our manhood.
30. Shopping is not fascinating. Ever.
31. If you really want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.
32. The man is always in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.
33. “Fine.” is not an acceptable way to end an argument.
34. Money does not equate love.
35. If you truly want honesty, don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to.
36. Dogs good. Cats bad. Grrrrrrr….
37. He does not want to be just friends.
38. He was not looking at that other girl.
39. Well, okay… maybe a little.
40. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy…
41. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will never fake an orgasm. Ever.
42. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.
43. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it. Did I mention Love it?
44. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
45. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.
46. He heard you the first time. Honest.
47. You know, you can ask him out too
48. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.
49. Yes, Maegan Fox and Angelina Jolie is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt and Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you’re with.
50. He won’t tell you he loves you but deep inside he’s heart is pounding with love
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